"I have heard that if you yell, "YO! NOID!" one-hundred times into the box of a pristine, hot, greasy, pepperoni pizza, one of these entities will appear before you within minutes. I, however, don't know why anyone would want that."

The Noid is a sad, desperate, hungry creature. Weilding a hammer and other nefarious tools, they steal pizzas from human

homes, restaurants, and delivery drivers. Once believed to be an alien, a spirit, and even a mascot, Noids are something far worse: manifestations of human gluttony. Each time an individual consumes a large pizza (14+ inches in diameter) and a 2-liter soda in one sitting (60 minutes), a Noid is born. Where are they born? In the refuse of the devoured meal, slowly crawling together, compressing, and transforming. Like a gross, plastic cocoon, Noids crawl from their egg shell; the creatures are blanketed in a rotten, cheese-like slime that must be peeled away from the face.

As all creatures are, Noids are born nude. Filled with shame, before they do anything else, they seek clothing. As they mature, they become decent seamsters, creating complex onesies with large 'N's on them in their favorite color: red.